Are save the dates really necessary?

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re engaged—so let me start by saying, congratulations! Engagement season just came to a close and that means that save the date season is just getting started. So what better time to go over the ins and outs of invitation suites and all the stationery that comes with it, yes? I promise to answer all your burning invitation questions in later posts, but first up, let’s talk about save the dates.

I work with engaged couples all the time and I end up hearing a lot of the same questions over and over again: Are save the dates really necessary? How do I address the envelopes? Can I send them electronically or do I have to have them printed?

Trust me, most newly engaged couples are just as confused as you are. Here are the most frequently asked save the date questions we hear all the time.

Are save the dates really necessary?

No, save the dates aren’t mandatory. But they are an expected courtesy if you’re having a destination wedding, an extended wedding weekend, or a wedding during peak travel times or holidays. They’re also extremely helpful if you’re inviting a lot of out of town guests who might need to plan ahead for lodging or childcare.

Can we send electronic save the dates?

The short answer: Yes!

The long answer: Save the dates should match the formality of your event. If you’re having a more casual, low-key affair, by all means send them electronically. If you would describe your event as anything other than “casual”, it’s best to stick to paper save the dates.

How much should I pay for save the dates?

The average cost of save the dates can be anywhere from $1.50 to $4 per card depending on where you buy them, the cardstock they’re printed on, and whether you’re using luxury printing methods like vellum overlays, gold foil or letterpress.

How can I save money on save the dates?

If sending them electronically is out of the question, there a few things you do to save a little cash.

1. DIY them

Obviously, we’re all for printing your own save the dates. We give away a ton of free templates that you can print at home or at a local print shop (just head to this post to see how to make ’em). If you’re worried about printing them, we spill 5+ years worth of professional printing tips in the print guide.

2. Buy a design and print it online

Not ready to DIY them? Buy a template, upload it to an online printer (we love Paper and More for smaller print jobs) and let them do all the hard work for you. Plus, if you sign up for their mailing lists, many printers offer occasional sales that’ll save you a bundle.

3. Be selective.

Let’s be honest, your best friend from work who lives a mile away from your venue doesn’t have to get a save the date. If you’re having a stateside wedding, only send save the dates to your must-haves and out of town guests.

When should I send out save the dates?

A general rule of thumb is to send them 6 months before a local ceremony and 8 months before a destination wedding.

If you’re going with a pre-made design, I recommend ordering/printing them 4 – 6 weeks before you need to mail them. If you’re working with a designer, contact them 2 – 3 months before you need to mail ’em.

What information should we include on the card?

Mandatory:

• Your names
• Wedding date
• Location (city and state)

Optional (but highly recommended):

• A line stating “formal invitation to follow” (this will cut down on guests RSVPing to the save the date)
• A link to your wedding website (even if it’s not finished yet) so you can share additional details

Do not include on the card itself (but do put on your wedding website):

• Information about the registry
• RSVP instructions
• Anything denoting adult-only ceremony/reception or dress code
• Venue information

Do we have to have a photo on our save the dates?

Nope! A photo is totally optional and 100% up to you and your spouse-to-be.

Who should receive them?

Anyone who receives a save the date must be invited to the wedding, no matter what. If you’re worried you might have to trim the guest list later, only send them to out of town guests and people you’re 100% sure will make the final cut.

How do I address my save the dates?

We have a whole post on that here. But if you’d prefer the Cliff’s Notes version…

To avoid confusion, it’s best to include the names of every intended guest on your envelope. Communicating who is (and isn’t) invited up front allows families to plan for travel expenses and childcare.

• Spell out full names including titles
• If invited, write children’s names directly under parents’ names
• Spell out the address completely, including street name and state

Do I include a plus one on the envelope?

Yes, in the following cases:

• For anyone who is married, engaged, or living together
• For members of the bridal party, regardless of relationship status
• For everyone else, include if you’ve booked the venue and are positive about the budget (if things change, you can’t uninvite them later!)

No, if:

• Guests are single or casually dating
• You haven’t booked a venue
• Your budget isn’t 100% set in stone
• You’re worried that you may have to trim the guest list later

What if our details change after we send them?

Unfortunately, things happen. Your best bet is to update your wedding website, then start calling or emailing guests directly to spread the news.

What if guests RSVP ‘no’ to my save the date?

Even if someone receives your save the date and tells you they definitely won’t be able to attend, proper etiquette is to still send an invitation anyway.

The information contained on this Website and the resources available for download through this website are for educational and informational purposes only. I am only sharing what worked for me, and as such, I cannot guarantee that any products or processes will give you the same results.